Friday Poem:Spread My Wings

It is 21 years this week since I sat down on an ugly-but-practical brown couch and watched a Rage TV special – Nirvana Unplugged in New York. I’d heard of the band, I knew how the singer died, and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I know it’s cheesy, but it’s also true – that record changed my life.

I wrote this poem during the following year, expressing frustration with the constraints of my ordinary life. Nirvana fans might notice the influence of “Sappy”, but there’s a dash of Hank Williams in there, too.

This jar is far too small.
There is no room for my wings;
There is no room to fly;
I want to spread my wings.

I’m not a moonbeam in your jar;
I’m not a pretty toy;
I need to move, I need to breathe;
I want to spread my wings.

These air holes are too small.
You must not smother me;
I want to take the air,
I want to spread my wings.

Let me loose, what’s the use
Of keeping me in here.
I might not fly away,
But I want to spread my wings

One of the things I did as I escaped from the jar of proper lady-like behaviour, was to stick anything that appealed to me on my wall. Nowadays, that’s an “Inspiration Board”, but twenty years ago, it was weirdly adolescent for a forty-year old woman with 5 kids…At some point, the collection came down, and was upcycled into a series of collages, of which this is one. There’s an apt quote on there-

“Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves”

Walter Anderson.

I also got rid of the brown couch, and as much other ugly-but -practical-with-kids brownness out of my house, and started surrounding myself with things that I actually liked.

After ordering and waiting patiently for “Nirvana Unplugged in New York (on cassette), I expanded my music collection, my library and my stash of art supplies. I now have the Melvins “Gluey Porch Treatments”, and  I’m reading  Bessel Van der Kolk’s ” The Body keeps The Score”, about the ongoing effects of trauma. When Micheal Azzerad asked Kurt, “Is your’s a sad story?” , he hesitated, and said “…No…”, going on to say that the events of his childhood were commonplace, which, unfortunately, they are. But it is a sad story, they are all sad stories, which Dr Van Der Kolk and his colleagues are learning to address with proper treatment – too late for Kurt, but there’s hope for another generation to have more than numbness – they will be able to spread their wings.

Friday Poem

I wrote this short poem years ago, and I wish it wasn’t relevant any more…

“Peace!” is my battlecry,
With love I taunt my enemies,
And when they writhe in travail
on the floor,
I ache with empathy.

The images here are from an artist book I made with an inspiring quote from Ian MacKaye,and the last one from an altered book. I learned about the concept (and reality)of dominator culture through reading Derrick Jensen‘s book, A Language Older Than Words. It was a challenging read, but well worth it.

  

Only love can conquer fear.

Creativity: Envelope Book

I was lucky recently to find a beautiful box of vintage notepaper on a market stall. Nestled under the notelets was a stack of small envelopes, and I immediately decided that some of them should become book pages.

I made the cover last week before I left home, sandwiching two pieces of board between two layers of papers. The printed one is handmade in India, the blue silk paper is handmade in Moyston by my friend Karen. There is a gap between the boards for the spine.

I used a very simple stitch pattern, and sewed straight onto the spine, one envelope at a time, starting at the back. I didn’t quite line up the stitches, as a row of holes would probably tear really easily. One of the envelopes tore from one hole to the next as I stitched anyway, because the old paper is quite brittle.

If I’d been home (or thought to pack more supplies!) I would have sewn the book with a heavier thread – as it was, I used doubled ordinary sewing cotton, which wouldn’t be satisfactory for a book that was to be used a lot. I don’t think it will be an issue for this one.

Now I just need to find interesting bits and pieces to place inside all those tiny envelopes!

Creativity: Party Guest Book

I’ve got a birthday not far off – one of those landmark ones, and I’m having a party…A book for guests to sign as a memento is fairly standard on these occasions, and being an artist, I made my own.

It’s quite simple, with only one signature. The pages are 110gsm cartridge paper, and the cover is repurposed card with the printed magenta card glued over it. The cover design is a variation on the cover of the invite ‘zine I made, and I used the same orange thread to stitch the booklet together.

I couldn’t just leave it at that, of course! One of the pages already had this quote on it – an alternative verse of Nirvana’s “Territorial Pissings”. Since it’s a birthday party, and there will be cake, and my guests are invited to dress up in Punk Rock Style (there will be cliches) the words seem oddly appropriate. So I added a cake.

I’d bought a packet of pretty scrapbooky sheets, so I added some of those. Where I liked both sides, I hinged them with washi tape. When only one side fitted my theme, I stuck them down, again with washi tape. I picked two designs to use, a pretty one, and a punkier one. In the back, I put a copy of the invitation, and an old envelope to put some photos of the night in later. Camera and balloon stickers from Kikki K illustrate its purpose. I also put in a peony stamp, which I coloured with watercolours, and my Peace Love Empathy rainbow heart design.

I hope that the scattering of interesting inserts, stickers and drawings removes the terrible White Page anathema, and that the fact that something is already there will encourage my guests to be more adventurous in adding their names for me to remember the occasion.

Friday Poem: Ache

I’m mining the back catalogue for this week’s poem. I have not been to that place where the hums are lately, but I need to go there soon….

Wounds heal

But, God, the scars ache.

Broken hearts and broken bones

Will both be mended

But, God, they ache

Whenever the days are bleak

And cold.

Time heals

But, God, it aches,

The memory of pain,

Raw where the scars are

Brutal at the mend.

The poem is one of those in “Rainbow and Rope”, which I made nearly 20 years ago. I worked out how to put it together by looking at old cloth-bound books, and made three copies, each slightly different. I had an electronic typewriter (since deceased), which I typed up all the pages on, with a lot of messing around to get them in the right order once cut up and sewn together. Some of the poems have coloured illustrations, all individually drawn. To do something like that now, I would probably do it all digitally – perhaps scanning hand drawn illustrations, but not doing them individually.

I have produced a book of my Christmas poems (which I’ve added to our Christmas cards for years), but I did it online, and used photos for illustrations. Is that lazy? I do remember that working out how to make a book and then doing it was pretty exciting at the time: but then, so is designing a photo book of poems.

The photo at the top I took in Ararat, under a blooming bottlebrush, which was alive with Little Lorrikeets enjoying the nectar. I’m not sure if was them or their much larger cousins, the White Cockies, who snipped off the flowers.

Creativity: Art Away From Home III

This is my mini-studio right now! I’ve been doing some small pen and wash type water colours when I get a moment. The family are moving to a new house on Monday, so I’ve been helping fill boxes, as well as spending time playing with young Juniper. Playing with a toddler is a lesson in creativity all by itself, of course. Watching her patiently repeating some task over and over and over should remind me that sometimes I need to do that, too!

I bought the card with a New Zealand artists work on it, and a red frame for it, for 50 cents each in an op shop/thrift store. there are a couple of swatches of kimono fabric stuck on the wall, too, as inspiration, but I’ll have to take them down again soon…

I’m having an obsession with paeonies at the moment, collecting images from magazines (look through home decorator mags, and count the paeonies! It’s not just me…). I’ve used one of those as model for the pale pink blooms, the deeper pink from a modern Japanese fabric print, and a piece of vintage kimono fabric inspired the other floral painting. It’s only 10 x 6 cm . I tend to work small, but not always that tiny.

The last image is of a page in the artist scrapbook I’m making, titled “Make Art Not Craft”, for which I am collecting artist’s quotes on creativity generally, and the difference (if any) between “art” and “craft”.

Click on an image for a better look!

Creativity: Art Away From Home

I’m going to be away from home for nearly three weeks, visiting my daughter, her partner, and now-2-year -old Juniper. Hopefully a change of scenery will give me some creative impetus as well as an opportunity to hang out with the family and play with Juni. So I’m figuring out what I can pack that will be versatile as heck and also not too bulky/heavy when it comes to the long trip home by coach and train…

I’ll be taking some handmade books and pens and paints, with the intention of adding content, including the controversially titled “Make Art not Craft”. So far I’ve copied out dictionary definitions of “Art” and Craft”, and written a few paragraphs on the dichotomy (real or imagined) between the two). I’ll be looking for illuminating quotes and images to add.

 

 

 

I made this very tiny album last time I was in Canberra (with the option of boxes full of supplies), and I’ll take it back this time in hopes of finding some more (small)”happy” images to stick on the pages. Mostly the pictures are of peonies, but I’m not limiting it to the King of Flowers.

I’m also taking some yarn and a crochet hook, so I can make more leaves for the yarn bomb I’m making as part of the Public Art efforts of our tiny Moyston Arts Inc. The Primary school kids will be helping – more on that later!

Creativity: Stamping around the PNW V

There are only two stamps left to go in my little book of PNW memories. We actually spent a couple of days in Port Angeles after Aberdeen, but I didn’t do any stamps there. The bus trip involved three buses, a porta loo (eeew) and most of a day spent travelling. We glimpsed quite a few places we want to investigate properly “next time”. Crescent Lake was a big surprise – how come we’d never heard of it, we wondered, as the road ran on and on alongside it. It was frustrating being in a bus – no chance of stopping for some considered photographs – just the gamble of drive-by shots, with Bryan eventually telling me when it was clear of trees and good to click.

We spent maybe half an hour in Forks, waiting for the next bus, without the slightest idea that the Twilight series was set there. Our motel in Port Angeles was (natch) up a hill,(thankfully my case has wheels) and it was…different. We saw the only deer of our trip when we were having breakfast there one morning – it was in someone’s garden across the road. There’s an awesome bagel bakery, and an excellent Indian restuarant, wonderful views of Mt Baker across the Juan de Fuca Striat – and a plastic horned owl on the roof of a hotel, which caused us some excitement until I looked through a zoom lens and realised the sad truth about our owl sighting!

From there we went by ferry to Victoria BC – and we were in Canada, if only just, for 3 nights before going back to Seattle and then on home. One of my “must sees’ on this trip was orcas, and so we went on one of the many whale watching tours out of Victoria. We traveled far and wide, some of the time in thick fog, before Geoff finally located a pod – and it was worth it!

We also visited the Butchart Gardens (I learned to pronounce the name properly from a Canadian who lives near us), which was a marvel, and ate at an Indian restaurant, and, just for a change, a Tibetan one.(Chocolate Blueberry Momos – I would go back to Victoria just to eat them again. mmmm)

The back cover of the little book is the business card for the bead shop I visited in Aberdeen. I had plans to buy some beads, and make a pair of earrings for each place we went, but he plan fell down when I couldn’t find beads in Portland or Olympia.(You can see I still haven’t made the Aberdeen ones….) Olympia has Shipwreck Beads, but it’s hard to get to by public transport, and I’d had enough of long walks for a while – and been kicking myself since!

Have to go back – so much we missed, so much we want to see more of, so much we just want to see again – maybe carve more stamps, buy more beads, and take heaps more photos!

Creativity: Stamping Around the PNW III

This week, the stamps I made as mementos of our trip around the Pacific North West are those from Olympia. 

We arrived by train, and got off at Lacey, because the train doesn’t go all the way to Olympia. As there was no sign of the promised bus, we took a taxi, and that was an experience in itself, the driver being a …character.

Our highest priority once we’d booked in to our hotel was laundry – we were running out of clean clothes, since we hadn’t had access to a washing machine since Seattle. Our Olympia hotel had one, but it was broken; we thought there was one over the road, but it was only a dry cleaner; we went to the tourist information place (with our bag of washing) and asked the nice lady…she thought there used to be one near Safeway, but she wasn’t sure. Another woman, newly local and checking out things to see and do in her new town, came to our rescue, and drove us some distance to a tiny shopping centre (way past that Safeway, where a nail salon had superseded the coin laundry) and dropped us off at a laundrette, with alarmingly vague assurances that we could get a bus back to our Hotel…And so we negotiated the mysteries of the coin laundry, washed and dried our clothes, and made it safely back to town. I don’t know why I didn’t make a washing machine stamp. But I didn’t.

On day two, we walked from our hotel to Plum street, to another Japanese garden. It was very pretty, with lots of maples, and koi carp in the pond. It would have been a beautiful, quiet oasis, except that someone was whipper-snipping around the boundary! From there, we made our way to Pear St, which seemed to go forever, and Bryan was almost ready to call it quits, when I saw the State Lottery building, and knew the house we were looking for was just across the street.

It’s the house where Kurt Cobain lived, 20 years before, and where much of Nevermind was written. There are two apartments in the house, and one of them was available for rent. From there we went in search of coffee, and found Cafe Vita – so good that we went back again before leaving Olympia. Choc Mint Grahams, and excellent coffee. It is my dream to find a source of those Choc Mint Grahams closer to home!

On another day we visited the Capitol campus, with its cluster of neoclassical buildings and beautiful gardens overlooking the Capitol Lake.

From there we took the (free) bus to the Farmer’s market at the other end of town. The vast array of beautiful fresh fruit and vegetables made me wish we could stay much longer, and with a kitchen to cook and eat as much of it as I could. We made do with a few pieces of fruit.

I only carved two stamps for Olympia, but so many memories are evoked by those two images! Fruit and forest, Tumwater Falls and Australian wine in Safeway, the old movie theatre, fountains, mountains…can’t wait to get back there!

Next week, we visit Aberdeen and carve out a few more memories.

The image at the top is of a tiny watercolour I did during out trip – based on a photo of a torn poster of Kurt.

 

 

Creativity: Stamping Around the PNW II

I made these stamps, and the tiny book of the images on our big trip around the Pacific North West in August 2011. This week’s stamps are those I made in Portland, Oregon.

We caught glimpses of Mt Hood as the train from Seattle wended its way through goods yards. Our nearest mountain – Mt William in the Grampians National Park, is 1,167m, and sometimes has snow on it in winter – in some years. Mt Hood, on the other hand, is 3,429m, and gleams with pure whiteness even in summer. Big snowy mountains were novel to us!

 

On one of our too-few days, we took the light rail out to the Arboretum, and walked from there to the Rose test garden, via forest and the beautiful Japanese Gardens. All of these places were probably worthy of a day each, but we couldn’t spend that long. I took photos of roses that appealed to me, plus their tags for the name, but I doubt whether any are actually available in Australia. I drew the images on the stamps from photos I’d taken – remembering to reverse the image in the process, if necessary.

I didn’t do any images of food on our trip (although I have at other times), but I can’t write about Portland without remembering the taste-bud wonderland of TartBerry, and the Violetta cafe, where we ate twice, but I wish it could have been more often. Organic Blackberry Soda – with actual blackberries in it…divine! Nearby was the art supply shop where I bought a stamp pad to go with the stamps I was making. I would have bought much more if I could have carried it – so many lovely papers, pencils, brushes, inks, dyes….