Vale

a-pencil-portraitHey Kurt,
today was your birthday.
You would have, should have, been 50 today. But you are forever 27, a magic age, neither boy nor man, suspended there forever.
No grey hairs or paunch for you: the girls will always think you’re cute – girls who weren’t born when you died declare their undying love for you. If only you could have known, would you have felt validated by that?
I kind of doubt it. I remember seeing a video of Courtney telling you she thought you were “really cute”, and the doubt in your face. You really believed you were ugly, didn’t you?
People believe strange things, like the conspiracy theorists who insist you were murdered. It might be comforting, I suppose, to think that a clever criminal did it, and not you, despite your reckless drug use and suicidal ideation that pointed to a deep and corrosive despair at your core.
Lets not dwell on the bitter end, not today. Let’s remember you as caring, generous and sweet, a bright and beautiful young man loved by your friends, and by the punk rock community that took you in and released you into the unsuspecting world, adored now by fans the whole world over; a world the breadth of which that boy from Aberdeen Wa could not imagine…
Peace Love Empathy
lets remember and cling to them.
The world needs them more now than ever.
Rest easy, sweet Kurt,
wherever you are.you-could-do-anything

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5 thoughts on “Vale

  1. I still find it difficult to believe he’s gone. I’m ten years his senior, I shall be 60 this year. Still the only thing I can play on a guitar is the chord progression from . In 2005, when I was still cutting my teeth as a late-developing poet, I wrote a poem inspired by a KC quote. I shall share it with you in a separate comment box. If you feel that this is hi-jacking your blog, please just delete it.

    Marie Marshall
    author/editor/poet

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Burn Out

    (“I’d rather burn out than fade away” Kurt Cobain)

    Because I have been here a million times, and then some. I reach a point beyond exhaustion, like my brain is a city and people keep moving out because life is to terrible here, and the streets are hard as iron to walk upon. I wondered how you could be so mean to me, and then I thought, “Hey, maybe it’s me – maybe I have no gift at all.”

    I’d rather burn out than fade away.
    I always knew the wheels would come off this thing,
    I always knew my head would come unglued,
    I always knew my life would unravel.
    Why else did I let you take me all the way
    To a place no one should ever have to see,
    Right up to the point where
    Grey fades to black
    And I am standing on the edge of the abyss
    Without the will to jump,
    And you’re standing right behind me
    Without the will to push,
    And I say “Do it!”
    And you do it,
    And I’m flying through it,
    Only down into it,
    Into the abyss. I can’t miss.
    Just like someone used to say –
    I’d rather burn out than fade away

    I’d rather burn out than fade away.
    I don’t want to cause consternation,
    Because I’m considering self-extermination,
    Bringing this idea to germination,
    Problems facing elimination,
    Anything’s better than degradation,
    Let’s go for total deprivation,
    And wipe out my humiliation,
    And knock out my frustration,
    In one final conflagration,
    Which will be seen all over this nation.
    Just like someone used to say –
    I’d rather burn out than fade away

    I’d rather burn out than fade away.
    I recall, not without bitterness,
    That I uttered the last words of a famous murderer:
    “Do it!” he said, and so did I,
    And you did it.
    And there was a song about
    Looking through his eyes,
    And I am – moments before death.
    Moments before mine but not many,
    So why wait?
    So I embrace it
    Because I can face it,
    But it takes two to Bossa Nova,
    One to fall right over,
    One to figure,
    The other to pull the trigger,
    Which one is the bigger?
    Just like someone used to say –
    I’d rather burn out than fade away

    Fine then! Having no one left to murder as an insult to the world, I guess I had better murder myself.

    Q: How does a coward commit suicide?
    A: She makes enough people hate her
    So that sooner or later,
    Someone will exterminate her,
    So she lets the world decide.

    Liked by 1 person

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